With everything we are facing today, we may feel like we do not have a choice in how things work out for us. Does not this feeling resinate with us sometimes in life. With all the illness that we could come into contact with on a day to day basis, we rarely think about it. One of the hardest things to ponder in a situation such as today’s dilemma is how to focus on the positive when things seem so overwhelmingly impossible. Hopefully, I will be able to provide some shift in today’s article to help ease your burdens.
Take Accountability For Your Life
One of the first things that shifted my perspective in my life when I was around 45 years old is the idea that I have no-one to blame for the discouragement in my life except “ME.” Sure I do not want people to hurt my feelings or make me feel like I have no say so about what happens in my life. But, the truth is I have to accept 100% responsibility for anything and everything that happens to me in my life.
The choices I make will ultimately put me where I am today. I do not have to associate with people who will hurt my feelings. Blaming others for the pain I feel is not the path to healing. Accepting where I am in the moment that my choices put me where I am for the moment will lead me toward a healing path. Denying myself that right of well being by trying to shift the blame on someone else will cause me to stay at a standstill trying to reason why I think that person or this person should be different so I can be happy.
Ask Yourself “What do I want”
The next life lesson I learned shortly after learning that I am totally responsible for everything that happens to me in my life is the only way to find those experiences I want is to know what I like and what I do not like. You may wonder how difficult or easy this will be especially if you lived most of your life being a people pleaser.
I raised four children and I was a military spouse so I can tell you what these five people like or do not like. I was definitely a people pleaser from way back because I learned how to navigate through a family growing up who were mostly drinkers from the Depression Era.
Don’t make waves, or things will get worse was a major thought in the front of my brain for most of my life. When it came to living life, I did not have a clue what I liked or did not like. Of course, I did have a list of favorite foods, favorite music, favorite TV shows. Thats great! A place ot start learning who I really am in this existence.
One of the things that I know is true about a situation in my life when I find I am unhappy with my circumstances is how I feel at that moment. If I am in a conversation that is painful or I am not getting the response that I am hoping for is that I definitely do not like to feel the way I do in those types of situations.
So, at that moment, I can take a few moments to ponder what I do want instead of what I am currently experiencing that I do not want. If you believe there are two sides of the stick in every situation, what I do want is on the other end of the stick and all I have to do is shift my awareness and feelings to the end of the stick by simply asking myself “What Do I Want” and being real with myself.
Accepting That I AM WORTHY
One of the hardest things to overcome these days is accepting my own self worth. Raised to believe that unless you do this or that you are not worthy of happiness, I work everyday to accept that I am a worthy of well being and happiness and with me being in a universe of everyone on an even plane of existence. Others will have their own beliefs about my worthiness, but do I want to leave my worthiness up to someone else? No.
I must believe I am worthy or well being and happiness regardless of whether anyone else believes it or not. When I focus deep down inside, I know I am just as worthy of happiness as the next person. I do not have to fit a mold others want to put me into that they created in their mind especially if they have a pessimistic viewpoint of me. If I find that I am thinking that others pessimistic viewpoint of me seems right, I make the choice to focus on it and bring it to pass. Remember, the self-fulfilling prophecy rule. So many people have different ideas, goals, ideals in life. I will not fit into everyone’s idea of my worthiness. Even some of the greatest people in life have haters. Maybe sometimes I feel there are more haters in my life than people who see me as worthy, but I must resist the urge to dwell on them and focus on my own self worth.
To find out who we are in this existence, these are three things I currently work with each day in my life. Remember, no one says I will do this and this in my life and follow that plan once they are born. We all come from the same place and we are all equal. Those who seemingly find happiness are those who focus on what they want in life instead of what they do not want, they take 100% responsibility for their own life experiences, and they accept their own self worth.